The Boardroom Brawl How to Navigate Conflict with Your Peers and Superiors

Navigating the Boardroom Brawl: How to Hold Your Ground When You're Not the Boss

Resolving conflict with a direct report is one thing; you have positional authority. But how do you navigate a disagreement with a peer on the executive team, or worse, your own boss? In these situations, the power dynamics are fundamentally different. You cannot command a resolution; you must earn it through influence, preparation, and psychological acuity.

This is a scenario I faced constantly in my crisis negotiation career. I was often the advisor in the room, not the ultimate decision-maker. I had to influence CEOs, government officials, and grieving family members — people who held all the formal power. I learned that in these high-stakes environments, the quality of your preparation and the discipline of your communication are your only true sources of leverage.

Here's how to apply those crisis-tested principles to the unique challenges of a boardroom conflict.

1. Win the "Crisis Within the Crisis" First

As I've often said, 80% of my work in a negotiation is managing the stakeholders on my own side. The same is true for you. Before you even think about confronting your peer or superior, you must do the internal work.

• Master Your Emotions: Your counterpart's seniority or strong personality can be a significant trigger. If you enter the conversation feeling defensive or intimidated, you have already lost.Spend time in your RedCentre. Ground yourself. Your calm is your shield and your most persuasive asset.
• Use the Three Buckets: Triage the conflict. What elements are truly within your control your preparation, your delivery, what can you only influence their opinion, and what is outside your control their final decision? Focus all your energy on what you can control.Read more about this in our article: The Three Buckets of Control.

2. Shift from Persuasion to Problem-Solving

When you lack formal authority, attempting to "persuade" someone can feel like a direct challenge to their ego or status. A more effective approach is to reframe the conversation as a collaborative problem-solving session where you are their strategic partner.

• Instead of: "I think your plan is wrong, and here's why."
• Try: "I've been thinking about the potential risks associated withthe Q4 launch. I have some thoughts on how we might be able to de-risk the plan to ensure its success. Would you be open to exploring them with me?"

This approach respects their position while inviting them into a joint exercise. You are not attacking their idea; you are offering to help them make it stronger.

3. Build Your Case with Impeccable Preparation

When you can't rely on authority, you must rely on the quality of your argument. Your preparation must be flawless.

• Anticipate Their Perspective: Before the meeting, spend more time thinking about their interests, pressures, and goals than you do about your own. Why do they hold their position? What problem are theytrying to solve? Use the EmpathyLoop in your own mind as a preparation tool.
• Use Data, Not Just Opinion: Ground your argument in objective data, industry benchmarks, or precedent. This elevates the conversation from a battle of opinions to a strategic discussion.
• Red Team Your Own Argument: Before you present your case, have a trusted colleague play devil's advocate and try to tear it apart. This is the essence of Red Teaming.It will expose the weaknesses in your logic before your counterpart does.

4. Use the Language of a Trusted Advisor

During the conversation itself, your language and delivery are everything. You must communicate as a supportive advisor, not a challenger.

• Acknowledge Their Authority: Start by validating their position and expertise. "I know you've spent a lot of time on this, and I appreciate the work that's gone into it."
• Use Calibrated Questions: Instead of making statements, ask questions that guide them to see the issue from a different angle. "How have you been thinking about the potential impact on the engineering team's morale?" or "What's our contingency plan if the supplier fails to deliver on time?"
• Say No Without Saying "No": If you need to hold your ground, do it respectfully. Instead of a blunt refusal, use phrases like, "I'm not sure I can get my team on board with that timeline given our current resource constraints. How can we solve this?" Read more about this in our article: Saying No Without Saying No.

Navigating conflict with peers and superiors is the ultimate test of your influence. It requires you to be the most prepared, most disciplined, and most emotionally regulated person in the room. By shifting from a mindset of confrontation to one of collaborative problem-solving, you can not only resolve the immediate issue but also enhance your reputation as a strategic and valuable leader.

Are you facing a high-stakes internal conflict? Don't navigate it alone. Scott Walker offers discreet, one-on-one coaching for executives to prepare for their most challenging conversations.