The Crisis With in the Crisis How to W in the Internal Negotiation Before You Even Get to the Table

The ransom demand on the table was for five million dollars. The kidnappers were growing impatient, their threats becoming more explicit. The family of the hostage was, understandably, beside themselves with fear. But the biggest obstacle I faced in that moment was not the criminals holding a man's life in their hands. It was the CEO of the victim's company.

He was a decisive, alpha-male leader, used to being the smartest person in the room. He wanted to take control, to make an aggressive counter-offer, to do something. His own team, meanwhile, was split. The CFO was terrified of the financial and legal exposure, while the head of HR was focused solely on the duty of care to their employee.

They were all looking at me to negotiate with the kidnappers, but the most critical negotiation was happening right there, in our own Red Centre.

This is what I call the "Crisis With in the Crisis." In my experience, at least 80% of the work in any high-stakes negotiation is spent managing your own side. It's the messy, frustrating, and politically charged process of aligning stakeholders, managing egos, and building a unified front before you ever make contact with your counterpart. For more on this, see our article on negotiation team alignment.

If you cannot w in this internal negotiation, you have already lost the external one.

Why Your Own Team is Your Toughest Opponent

In a typical business negotiation, we focus our preparation on the other side: their needs, their weaknesses, their strategy. We often assume our own team is perfectly aligned. This is a dangerous assumption. Your stakeholders — your boss, the board, legal, finance, your own team members — all have their own perspectives, pressures, and fears.

• The Board: Worries about shareholder value and fiduciary duty.
• The Legal Team: Worries about liability and precedent.
• The Finance Team: Worries about budget and financial impact.
• Your Direct Reports: Worry about how the outcome will affect their work and job security.

Each of these stakeholders is negotiating from their own "model of the world." When pressure mounts, these different perspectives can fracture a team, leading to internal power struggles, second-guessing, and a complete breakdown of strategy. The other side doesn't even have to apply pressure; you implode from within.

The Three Steps to Forging a Unified Front

Building internal consensus is not about getting everyone to agree with you. It's about creating a disciplined process where every voice is heard, a clear decision is made, and everyone commits to executing it flawlessly.

1. Establish a Single Commander and a Clear Mandate.

In a crisis, democracy is dangerous. A committee cannot make a high-stakes decision. You must establish a single, empowered decision-maker — the "Commander." This could be the CEO, the project lead, or you. Everyone on the team must understand and agree that this person, after hearing all input, will make the final call.

Simultaneously, this Commander must be given a clear mandate. What is the ultimate objective? Is it to close the deal at all costs? To preserve the relationship? To protect a key principle? This mandate becomes the North Star that guides all subsequent decisions.

2. Use the "Bunch of Fives" to Anticipate and Align.

Before the negotiation begins, I gather the internal team and we game out the "Bunch of Fives" — the five most likely challenges, threats, and questions we will face. For each one, we agree on a pre-planned response.

• What if they make an extreme opening offer?
• What if they threaten to walk away?
• What if they question our authority?

This process does two things. First, it prepares you for the most likely tactics. Second, and more importantly, it forces all the internal disagreements and differing perspectives to the surface in a controlled environment, before you are under real-time pressure. You have the debate now, so you don't have it when the clock is ticking.

3. Separate the Negotiator from the Commander.

The person communicating with the other side (the Negotiator) should almost never be the ultimate decision-maker (the Commander). This separation is a critical psychological firewall. It allows the Negotiator to use powerful phrases like, "I understand your position, but I'm not authorised to agree to that. I'll have to take it back to my team."

This tactic achieves several things:

• It buys you invaluable time to think.
• It lowers the emotional intensity of the moment.
• It allows you to say "no" without being confrontational.
• It reinforces that you are part of a disciplined, professional team, which can be intimidating to the other side.

Key Takeaways for Leaders

The next time you enter a major negotiation, shift your focus. Spend the majority of your preparation time not on the other side, but on your own.

• Map Your Stakeholders: Who are the key players on your side? What are their individual fears, pressures, and objectives? Address these before they become a problem.
• Appoint a Commander: Formally designate a single person who will make the final decision. Ensure everyone agrees to respect that authority.
• War-Game Your Strategy: Use the "Bunch of Fives" or a similar Red Teaming exercise to pressure-test your plan and force internal alignment.

In the end, I managed the CEO by making him the Commander. It fed his need for control, but with in a structured process. We war-gamed the likely scenarios, and he gave me, as the Negotiator, a clear mandate. When I spoke to the kidnappers, I did so with the full and unified backing of my team. That internal cohesion was the source of the strength that ultimately led to the hostage's safe return.

Remember, the most formidable opponent you face may not be across the table; they may be sitting right next to you. W in that negotiation first.