Hi,
Thanks for joining me this week.
As a reminder:
I’ll send you a useful tip each week to help you improve your communication skills.
TIP OF THE WEEK
[Understanding Emotional Intelligence]
Emotional intelligence (EQ) is key to becoming a great negotiator and communicator.
It's even seen as a better predictor of life success than IQ.
EQ was first defined in 1990 by psychologists as the ability to recognise feelings in yourself and others and use this to guide your behaviour.
It's also about developing empathy and understanding motivations.
Unlike IQ tests, measuring EQ is more complex.
But you can spot high EQ in people who:
- Stay calm under stress
- Take responsibility for their feelings instead of blaming others
- Make you feel truly understood after talking with them
These traits can help in both personal and work life.
EQ has four main parts:
- Knowing yourself and what drives you
- Managing your own emotions
- Understanding and managing relationships
- Social awareness and skills
By improving in these four areas, you can become more emotionally intelligent and communicate better.
In tough negotiations, like hostage situations or business deals, emotions run high.
The key is to not take things personally, really listen, and understand what the other side needs.
This works for business talks and even when dealing with your kids at home.
Most human behaviour comes from fear of loss, including things such as control, respect, belonging, and identity.
If you can figure out what someone's afraid of losing in a deal – whether it's kidnappers, coworkers, or your children – you can start to influence their behaviour.
This applies to you too.
Know what you're afraid of losing, like freedom or money, so you can manage emotions like frustration or anger that might mess up your negotiation.
Key Takeaway
Think of EQ as split into two parts: SELF (knowing and managing yourself) and OTHERS (understanding and managing relationships with people).
2 QUOTES THAT STOOD OUT TO ME THIS WEEK
"When awareness is brought to an emotion, power is brought to your life."
- Tara Meyer Robson
If your emotional abilities aren't in hand, if you don't have self-awareness, if you are not able to manage your distressing emotions, if you can't have empathy and have effective relationships, then no matter how smart you are, you are not going to get very far.”
- Daniel Goleman
1 QUESTION FOR YOU
How might understanding your own fear of loss improve your relationships?
Until next week,
Scott
p.s. My Sunday Times bestseller 'Order Out of Chaos' is coming out in paperback on Nov 8th. It's your step-by-step guide to mastering emotions and winning every negotiation.
Don't miss out - preorder now and join thousands in transforming your life and career today. Click here to secure your copy.
Let's Transform How you Handle Critical Conversations.
