Learn to make your self-talk work for you, not against you…

_{Learn to make your self-talk work for you, not against you…}

Hi,

Thanks for joining me this week,

As a reminder:

Each week I’ll send you an actionable tip to help you become a better negotiator.

_{TIP OF THE WEEK}

_{[Positive vs Negative Self-Talk]}

How you negotiate with yourself is crucial.

Those conversations are probably the most important ones you’ll ever have.

Achieving the result you’re looking for, whether that’s a pay rise, a business deal or training to run your first marathon, depends on whether you negotiate with yourself using empowering and positive language or the disempowering and negative kind.

It is often said you wouldn’t talk to your worst enemies how you might speak to yourself.

Research has found that the quality of your self-talk can change the way you see yourself, your very identity and, therefore, how you behave.

Common negative self-talk usually involves a version of:

• ‘I’m not qualified or good enough’
• ‘I’ve got it wrong again’
• ‘I’ll never be able to achieve x’

The good news is your brain is highly malleable and is open to changing the way you think, feel and act.

Particularly when it comes to language and the meaning you give things.

So, these negative comments, along with the significance you’ve given them, can be overcome and replaced by far more empowering affirmations, such as:

• ‘I’ve got this’
• ‘I know what I’m doing and feel so passionate about it’
• ‘I’ve earned this’
• ‘I am worthy and more than enough’

Like all effective techniques though, this is not a one-time tick-box exercise and everything will be fine.

It requires regular effort, as small steps consistently applied equal sustained success.

_{2 QUOTES THAT STOOD OUT TO ME THIS WEEK}

“You can't shake hands with a clenched fist” ​
- Indira Gandhi

“The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn't said”
- Peter Drucker

_{1 CHALLENGE FOR YOU}

For one week, pay close attention to your self-talk and internal dialogue.

Each time you catch yourself using negative or disempowering language, pause and reframe it into a positive, empowering statement.

Keep a journal to track:

1. The negative self-talk you noticed
2. The situation that triggered it
3. How you reframed it positively

At the end of the week, reflect on:

• How often you engaged in negative vs. positive self-talk
• Any patterns you noticed in triggers or types of negative thoughts
• How reframing impacted your mood, confidence and actions
• Areas where you still struggle with negative self-talk

Set a goal to continue this practice and gradually increase your ratio of positive to negative self-talk over time.

Changing thought patterns takes consistent effort, but can significantly impact how you see yourself and approach challenges.

Let me know how it went by simply replying to this email - whether it was a win, a challenge or a learning. I’ll feature some of them (anonymously) in future newsletters.

Your insights could help others improve their communication skills and relationships!

Until next week,

Scott

Sunday Times bestselling author of ‘Order Out of Chaos’

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