Hi,
Thanks for joining me this week.
As a reminder:
I’ll send you a useful tip each week to help you improve your communication skills.
TIP OF THE WEEK
I was recently asked what skill I rely on most in negotiations.
The person asking probably expected me to say something like strategic questioning or emotional intelligence.
But my answer?
Learning to read the room.
Picture this: You're in a team meeting.
Someone's presenting an idea they're clearly excited about. But something feels off.
There's a heaviness in the air. People are nodding, but their smiles don't quite reach their eyes.
Some are stealing glances at each other.
Others are suddenly very interested in their notepads.
Everyone's saying "yes," but the room is screaming "no."
We've all been there.
These moments where what's being said and what's being communicated are completely different.
They happen in team meetings, family gatherings, and conversations of all kinds.
Most of us feel these undercurrents.
But we either doubt our instincts or don't know what to do with the information.
So we focus on what we're going to say next, missing the actual conversation happening beneath the surface.
In my experience, reading the room is about understanding three key layers:
- Individual Energy: Watch how people's behaviour changes from their baseline. Someone who's usually vocal falling quiet, or the typically reserved person who's suddenly animated, these deviations tell stories. They signal internal conflicts, unspoken disagreements, or information that hasn't surfaced yet.
- Group Dynamics: Notice how energy flows in the room. Which comments create tension? Who do people instinctively look to for confirmation? Where do the invisible alliances lie?
- Environmental Shifts: Pay attention to when the energy changes. The moment a new topic creates subtle shifts in posture. The sudden drop in ‘temperature’ when someone enters the room. The way conversation patterns change after certain statements.
These signals aren't just ‘things’ to observe, they're invitations to be curious and, if appropriate, to intervene.
When I notice tension rising in a negotiation, I might say something like, "I sense there's some hesitation about this point. What are we missing here?"
This simple acknowledgement often releases pressure and brings hidden concerns to the surface.
Why does this matter?
Because every room has two conversations: the one people are speaking and the one they're feeling.
Master negotiators, leaders, and communicators operate in both.
Key Takeaway
- Create safety for unspoken concerns to emerge
- Address underlying tensions before they escalate
- Guide conversations toward authentic dialogue
- Build trust by acknowledging what others fear to name
The most crucial conversation in any room is usually the one no one's brave enough to start.
1 QUESTION FOR YOU
What signals are you picking up in your everyday conversations that you've been hesitant to acknowledge?
2 QUOTES THAT STOOD OUT TO ME THIS WEEK
"Good communication is the bridge between confusion and clarity”
- Nat Turner
“The art of communication is the language of leadership”
- James C Humes
Until next week,
Scott
P.S. If you enjoyed my Sunday Times bestseller, Order Out of Chaos, you’ll love my follow-up, Eye of The Storm, out May 8th, 2025.
It’s packed with new insights and practical tools to help you stay calm, act decisively, and thrive under pressure.
Whether you're facing challenges at home, managing workplace demands, or dealing with daily stresses, this book will help you build resilience, resolve conflicts, and strengthen relationships.
I don’t know about you, but that seems like a great outcome for the year ahead!
Take advantage of early bird discounts and pre-order your copy here.
Did someone forward this to you? Sign up here to get the next one straight to your inbox.
Let's Transform How you Handle Critical Conversations.
