Hi,
Thanks for joining me this week.
As a reminder:
I’ll send you a useful tip each week to help you improve your communication skills.
TIP OF THE WEEK
The quality of your conversations - and by extension, your relationships, deals, and leadership - depends on your ability to put aside what you think you know and get genuinely curious about what's actually true.
Think about it:
How many deals have fallen through because you assumed you knew what the other side wanted?
How many team conflicts persist because everyone's operating on assumptions rather than facts?
How many personal relationships stay stuck because we think we know what the other person is thinking?
The Problem:
We're wired to make quick judgments.
Our brains love shortcuts.
It's how we've evolved to process massive amounts of information quickly.
But, mental shortcuts can often backfire.
Here's what happens:
- We enter conversations with our minds already made up
- We filter information to confirm what we already believe
- We miss crucial details that don't fit our narrative
- We fail to understand others' perspectives
- We make decisions based on incomplete information
I see this play out constantly in high-stakes situations.
- Leaders miss opportunities because they're too quick to assume
- Teams fragment because members assume they know each other's motivations
- Relationships break down because we think we know what the other person is thinking
The Solution is a simple phrase: "Help me understand..."
This:
- Opens up new possibilities
- Disarms defensive reactions
- Creates space for real dialogue
- Leads to better decisions
- Builds stronger relationships
Try this approach in your next important conversation:
Notice when you're making assumptions.
Pause and get curious.
Then:
- Use "Help me understand..." to explore the other person's perspective
- Listen for what challenges your assumptions
- Adjust your approach based on what you learn
Key Takeaway
The ability to challenge your own assumptions is a superpower. Master this, and you'll operate at a level most people never reach.
1 QUESTION FOR YOU
What judgment are you holding that deserves a second look?
2 QUOTES THAT STOOD OUT TO ME THIS WEEK
"Silence is a form of communication too. Sometimes less is more.”
- Pat Summitt
"The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood.”
- Ralph G. Nichols
Until next week,
Scott
P.S. If you enjoyed my Sunday Times bestseller, Order Out of Chaos, you’ll love my follow-up, Eye of The Storm, out May 8th, 2025.
It’s packed with new insights and practical tools to help you stay calm, act decisively, and thrive under pressure.
Whether you're facing challenges at home, managing workplace demands, or dealing with daily stresses, this book will help you build resilience, resolve conflicts, and strengthen relationships.
I don’t know about you, but that seems like a great outcome for the year ahead!
Take advantage of early bird discounts and pre-order your copy here.
Did someone forward this to you? Sign up here to get the next one straight to your inbox.
Let's Transform How you Handle Critical Conversations.
