Your emotions are like a volume dial—here’s how to turn them down.

Hi,

Thanks for joining me this week.

As a reminder:

I’ll send you a useful tip each week to help you improve your communication skills.

TIP OF THE WEEK

Your emotions are like a volume dial—here’s how to turn them down:

Ever tried thinking clearly with music blasting in your ears? Impossible, right?

Your emotions work the same way. Turn them up too loud, and rational thinking gets drowned out.

When I’m negotiating a kidnapping case, emotions run high. Families are distraught. Company executives are panicking. But my job? Stay calm and help everyone make smart decisions—even when it feels like the world is falling apart.

And here’s the thing: high-stakes negotiations aren’t just about life-or-death situations. I’ve seen CEOs walk away from million-dollar deals because someone bruised their ego. I’ve watched top leaders make impulsive decisions they later regret. And, yes—I’ve told my kids they’re “grounded forever” in a moment of frustration, only to backtrack 10 minutes later.

The truth is, emotions will always show up.

You’re human.

But you can choose what you do with them.

The best negotiators, business leaders, and decision-makers don’t suppress emotions—they manage them.

Here are three practical techniques I’ve used in the highest-stakes situations to keep emotions in check and make better decisions:

Ever notice how emotions don’t ask for permission? They just show up.

You don’t think, "Now I will be angry." No—you’re suddenly furious.

You don’t decide, "Time to feel anxious." It just happens.

But here’s the good news: while you can’t stop emotions from showing up, you can stop them from running the show.

1. Create Space Before Reacting Emotions happen fast. But your reaction? That’s a choice. Before you fire off an email you’ll regret or snap at your team, hit pause. Take a breath. Give yourself a few seconds of space. That tiny gap between feeling and action? That’s where control lives.

2. Name What You Feel In negotiation, we say, "Name it to tame it." Why? Because when you label an emotion, you reduce its power over you. Saying, “I’m feeling frustrated right now” shifts your brain from reaction mode to awareness mode. You stop being the emotion and start observing it. And that changes everything.

3. Accept How You Feel (Without Letting It Take Over) Fighting emotions doesn’t make them disappear—it makes them louder. Instead, recognise them for what they are: signals, not commands.

Emotions are data, not directives.

They provide information, not instructions.

Acknowledge them, learn from them, but don’t let them make your decisions for you.

Try this: Next time you feel yourself reacting emotionally, pause, name it, and remind yourself: "This is data, not a directive."

You’ll be surprised at how much more in control you feel.

Now before you read on, I've had a lot of you ask how to go deeper with these skills. That's exactly why I'm launching something new!

‘The Thrive Under Pressure Programme’

I've distilled everything I've learned from 20+ years of high-stakes negotiation into an 8-week programme for leaders who want to perform at their best when it matters most.

Whether a a corporate leader, an entrepreneurial business owner, or a growth-minded individual, this is an opportunity to elevate your skills and operate at the highest level, no matter how challenging the environment or circumstances.

The programme will consist of:

Weekly Masterclass: Live, 90-minute masterclass every week for 8 weeks, starting at 7pm UK / 2pm Eastern.

Monthly Coaching & Mentoring Office Hours: Live, 45-minute 'office hours' calls, starting at 1pm UK / 8am Eastern, on the first Thursday of each month. This is where you get to ask questions, bring challenges, and get support.

Toolkits & Frameworks: Get access to a toolkit from every single masterclass and apply what you've learned immediately.

I don’t believe in mass enrolment. I believe in real connection.

That’s why I’m keeping this programme small and focused—so I can actually engage with the people who join, not just throw information at you and disappear.

Spots will be limited because I want to make sure you get the attention, insights, and real-world application you need.

If you’re serious about mastering high-stakes influence, negotiation, and decision-making, this is your chance.

More details coming soon. Keep an eye out—you won’t want to miss this.

Ready to fulfil your potential? Join the waitlist now.

I'll be sharing more details in the coming weeks!

JOIN WAITLIST

Now, back to this week's insights...

KEY TAKEAWAY

The people who seem unflappable under pressure aren't born that way.

They've just practiced observing their emotions rather than becoming their emotions.

I wasn't born knowing how to negotiate with kidnappers. I learned it.

You can learn this too.

1 QUESTION FOR YOU

When was the last time your emotions completely took over?

What happened in your body right before you lost it?

That physical sensation is your early warning system - get familiar with it.

WORTH CHECKING OUT

This TED talk by Mandy Saligari called "Feelings: Handle them before they handle you" is fantastic.

Saligari’s background in addiction and trauma therapy gives her a unique perspective on emotional regulation that completely aligns with what I've seen in crisis situations.

Worth 15 minutes of your time if you're serious about mastering your emotional responses!

Until next week,

Scott

P.S. If you enjoyed my Sunday Times bestseller, Order Out of Chaos, you’ll love my follow-up, Eye of The Storm, out May 8th, 2025.

It’s packed with new insights and practical tools to help you stay calm, act decisively, and thrive under pressure.

Whether you're facing challenges at home, managing workplace demands, or dealing with daily stresses, this book will help you build resilience, resolve conflicts, and strengthen relationships.

I don’t know about you, but that seems like a great outcome for the year ahead!

Take advantage of early bird discounts and pre-order your copy here.

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