Simple questioning techniques that create deeper connections

'Order Out of Chaos' is just 99p on Kindle for Black Friday. Transform how you handle every conversation for less than your morning coffee. These are the same communication strategies that have saved lives in hostage situations - imagine what they could do for your daily interactions.

Hi,

Thanks for joining me this week.

As a reminder:

I’ll send you a useful tip each week to help you improve your communication skills.

Quick heads up!

'Order Out of Chaos' is just 99p on Kindle  for Black Friday.

Transform how you handle every conversation for less than your morning coffee.

These are the same communication strategies that have saved lives in hostage situations - imagine what they could do for your daily interactions.

Grab your copy here before the price returns to normal!

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TIP OF THE WEEK

[The Art of Asking Questions]

Good questions can transform your negotiations and relationships.

While Rudyard Kipling's "six honest serving men" (what, why, when, how, where, and who) are useful, they need to be used carefully.

Mix them with active listening techniques like acknowledging emotions and summarising what you've heard.

This helps people feel heard and understood.

Open questions are your best tools.

They let people answer freely and keep control of their story.

However, be careful with "why" questions - they can sound accusatory.

Instead of asking "Why didn't you speak up?" try "What stopped you from speaking up?"

This small change makes people feel less defensive.

Closed questions - those with yes/no answers - have their place, but use them sparingly.

Asking your child "Did you have a good day at school?" might get you a simple "yeah" when you're hoping for more.

These questions can also make people feel pressured or interrogated if overused.

Verbal Mirroring: A Powerful Tool

Sometimes the simplest technique is the most effective.

Verbal mirroring - repeating the last few words someone says with a slight upward tone - can work wonders.

If someone says "I had a stressful journey and missed my train" you might say "stressful?"

This encourages them to tell you more without feeling pressured.

Mirroring is particularly useful when you're feeling overwhelmed or don't know what to say.

It works in heated moments, emotional situations, or when you need time to think.

It's also effective in written communication like emails and texts.

This technique can help you guide conversations naturally.

When you hear something important - we call these "hooks" - mirroring those specific words can help you explore that topic more deeply without seeming forceful or manipulative.

Remember: The goal isn't to interrogate but to understand.

Good questions and careful mirroring create space for honest, meaningful conversations.

2 QUOTES THAT STOOD OUT TO ME THIS WEEK

"Words are singularly the most powerful force available to humanity."
- Yehuda Berg
"Great communication begins with connection."
- Oprah Winfrey

1 QUESTION FOR YOU

Are your questions creating barriers or building bridges?

Until next week,

Scott

P.S. Learn how to transform difficult conversations, master your emotions, and communicate more effectively. Click here to get your copy of ‘Order Out of Chaos’ for 99p before the price goes back up!

Let's Transform How you Handle Critical Conversations.