Hi,
Thanks for joining me this week,
As a reminder:
Each week I’ll send you an actionable tip to help you become a better communicator.
TIP OF THE WEEK
[Take Control of Your Emotions]
The quality of your life is directly linked to the quality of your emotions. The more you understand and manage your emotions, the better your life will be.
Think of it like a superpower: when you understand how emotions affect your behaviour (and others), you can use them to get what you want.
Why do you want that promotion? Why hit your sales goal, be in a relationship, make more money, or buy that pair of shoes? These all tie back to how you *feel*.
It’s also important to let yourself really *feel* your emotions. But how often do you consciously choose to feel positive, empowering emotions? More often than not, we allow ourselves to get triggered into negative ones.
This is especially clear when you’re negotiating—with yourself or others.
There’s a lot of research on why we feel what we feel. Dr. Andrew Huberman from Stanford University found that most theories on emotions focus on how your autonomic nervous system works. This system controls things like your heartbeat and forms what Huberman calls the “architecture of a feeling.”
Take control of your feelings, and you take control of your life. 👇
He encourages people to ask these three simple questions to better understand what they’re feeling and why.**
There are no right or wrong answers—your answers will be unique to you.
- How do you feel on a scale from super alert to sleepy calm?
- Do you feel ‘good’ or ‘bad’?
- How much of your focus is on what’s happening inside your body versus what’s going on around you?
For example:
- When you feel stressed, you may notice shallow, fast breathing—this is *internal focus*.
- When a text message or news upsets you, your focus is on the *external*.
Once you’ve answered these, ask yourself:
So what? (What do your emotions mean?)
Now what? (How will you respond?)
These questions help you realise how much your environment affects your emotions. In the end, the only thing you control is how you respond.
The ‘good’ or ‘bad’ feelings come from the stories you tell yourself. Change your story, and you change your life. And if you don’t like how you feel, choose a better emotion!
2 QUOTES THAT STOOD OUT TO ME THIS WEEK
“The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.”
- William James
"Effective communication is 20% what you know and 80% how you feel about what you know."
- Jim Rohn
1 CHALLENGE FOR YOU
Take control of your emotions this week to improve your life.
Here’s how:
1. Daily Emotion Check-In:
Ask yourself:
- Am I feeling alert or calm?
- Good or bad?
- Is my focus internal or external?
2. Reflect and Respond:
Ask:
- So what?
- Now what?
3. Empowering Emotions:
Choose empowering emotions. If you’re feeling down, change your story and pick a better feeling.
Then, let me know how it went by simply replying to this email - whether it was a win or a learning. I’ll feature some of them (anonymously) in future newsletters.
Your insights could help others improve their communication skills and relationships!
Until next week,
Scott
Sunday Times bestselling author of ‘Order Out of Chaos’
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