Stop Waiting to Talk: How to Truly Listen with M.O.R.E.P.I.E.S.

Have you ever been in a conversation and realised the other person isn’t truly listening? They’re just waiting for a gap to make their own point. I discovered in the high-stakes world of crisis negotiation that listening is not just a passive act of waiting. It is the most active and potent tool for influencing others that you possess.

After hundreds of negotiations, I noticed something remarkable: the conversations that saved lives, closed deals, and developed real, long-term collaboration all had one thing in common. It wasn’t just what was said, it was how I listened.

To transform your communication skills, you need a practical toolkit. That’s why utilising the MORE PIES mnemonic is so powerful. It’s a simple, memorable framework for active listening that transforms how people respond to you.

It will help you build trust, resolve conflict, and form the foundation of world-class negotiation.

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What does M.O.R.E.P.I.E.S. stand for?

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MORE PIES gives you a collection of seven distinct techniques for them to feel seen, heard, and understood.

M - Minimal Encouragers: Small verbal and non-verbal cues such as, ‘I see’, ‘uh-huh’, or a simple nod that show you’re paying attention and encourage the other person to continue speaking.

O - Open Ended Questions: These can’t be answered with a simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’. They invite the other person to share more information and reveal underlying motivations.

R - Reflecting / Mirroring: Repeating the last few (or other key) words of what the other person has just said. This shows you’re listening and creates rapport.

E - Effective Pauses: Silence is a powerful tool. Pausing before you speak gives the other person space to think and often encourages them to elaborate further, revealing crucial information.

P - Paraphrasing: Reflecting back your understanding of what the other person said, in your own words.

‘I’ Statement: Frame your perspective from your own experience. Saying “I feel frustrated when you submit your report late,” is far more effective for conflict resolution than saying, “You are always late with your report,” as it focuses on the problem, not the person.

E - Emotional Labelling: Identifying and articulating the other person’s emotions. “It sounds like you’re annoyed with how long this deal is taking” is a powerful way to demonstrate empathy and is key to emotional regulation in a tense conversation.

S - Summarising: Periodically, summarise the other person’s points in their own words. This confirms your understanding, shows you’ve been listening, and allows you to check for any misinterpretations.

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How MORE PIES Can Aid Your Negotiations

Emotional regulation. When conversations become heated, it’s easy for emotions to take over. Techniques like Emotional Labelling and Summarising act as pressure valves. You can lower the emotional temperature in the room and prevent misunderstandings from spiraling out of control. This is a critical skill for keeping your own emotions in check and guiding the conversation back on to a rational footing.

Superior decision making. You cannot make good decisions without accurate information. MORE PIES ensures you uncover the real motivations, concerns, and needs that others often keep hidden.

Foundation of negotiation mastery. This framework is the cornerstone of everything we teach. You cannot effectively influence someone unless you already know what influences them. Using MORE PIES will enable you to do this.

The Reality Gap

Here’s what I’ve learned from training thousands of executives: reading about techniques like MORE PIES and actually using it (and mastering it) effectively are two completely different things.

Most people try one or two techniques and wonder why they don’t see immediate and dramatic results. Others use the techniques at inappropriate times or in the wrong way, creating more problems than they solve.

To become proficient at anything requires practice, timing and the kind of nuanced understanding that only comes from working through real scenarios with expert guidance.

Next Steps

In our negotiation workshops, we don’t just explain MORE PIES, we drill it. We practice realistic scenarios, handle difficult personalities, and work through the inevitable moments when conversations go sideways.

Because here’s the truth: knowing that say ‘Emotional Labelling’ works is one thing. Knowing exactly when to use it, what to say, and how to respond to what the other person says? That’s mastery.

Intention also matters. If you approach MORE PIES as just another checklist of techniques to use, you’re likely to fail. Whereas if you bring a genuine curiosity and desire to connect with the other person then you’ll increase your chances of succeeding.

Become someone others feel compelled to open up to through practice, feedback, and refinement.